i was sitting in an empty classroom yesterday afternoon right in the middle of it. i don't know why it felt so strange, perhaps it's the fact that whenever i am in a classroom there are tons of people chatting, reading, studying, etc. sadly, i felt the same way with or without people around me i suppose. i just leaned back and stared at the ceiling listening to fleetwood mac's "dreams." didn't want to stay out waiting for the shuttle. my converse sneakers have finally deteriorated to a state where there's a huge hole in the bottom of the sole so water comes up from the bottom. i really hate wet socks.

i think one of my favorite days so far this quarter was sunday night when my roommate, her boyfriend, and i stayed up till 3am just talking about random stuff. we opened up the front door so we could listen to the rain falling down on our porch. smoking cigarettes inside the house was nice too, since we never do it. we even got to singing our hearts out with whatever lyrics we could find online. all in all, i thought it was nice to just listen to the rain, smoke, and just enjoy the silence.

i go to a school where there are ridiculously great looking girls with wonderful personalities. it scares me that 98% of them are single.

i really should be writing my papers ( i have about 4 to write) so i should get to that. i just can't wait until the quarter so i can just relax. i need to really loosen up, i haven't really had much fun lately as i have been worrying so much about my school work. and recent events just haven't made things exactly easy either. i just hope that with the new quarter things will be a little different in terms of my relationships with people. i am feeling optimistic yes.

Currently Listening The Very Best of Fleetwood Mac By Fleetwood Mac Little Lies see related

boy it has been quite a while since i've updated, but xanga doesn't quite have the same hold on most people's lives as we have resorted to using facebook as a way to learn about others in the fastest, most concise way possible.

i realize with facebook, myspace, etc., it really does kill the mystery. everyone's lives are on display so there's practically no need to talk to people. before, it was like, OOoOoOo i wonder what so and so is up to nowadays, maybe i should give him/her a call. but nowadays, we can just look that person up and find out what we need to know. sorta takes away from the fun of it all, but yes, i will still use facebook and go on with life as the worst sort of hypocrite.

i just had a fattie dinner with christine over at lotus thai on sixth in hillcrest. boy was that good. it was so stupid tonight cos we ended up at David's Coffee shop and then she was like let's go to sushi deli. so we (Christine) drove over to downtown, get parking at Horton, find out that sushi deli is closed, walk in a big circle figuring that everything in downtown is way too expensive, buy a bag of M&Ms to get parking validation, drive back to Hillcrest, found out a crepe place was closed, waste another 15 minutes trying to find parking and finally ended up at Lotus Thai. All and all, a wasted night of studying, hours upon hours of witty banter/insults, and some damn good Pad See You. hahhaar.

Dammit. I love good food. I've been making some great food lately for myself and it's one of the most awesome ways for me to enjoy life nowadays. Trust me, it's frickin healthy shit.  And walking around the neighborhood is nice too. San Diego has some bombass winters. Sunny with that brisk chilliness that reminds you it's still winter. Lovely really.

As a result of recent events, I am in a rather strange place in my life. I think i know what to do with my life in general. I know my passions, my strengths, and how I will get there. Unfortunately, in spite of all things good happening to me, I harbor so much resentment and disappointment. I can't wait for the day that feeling will cease to be such an aggravating nuisance. Sometimes waking in the morning, I find myself clutching to the sink a little too long after washing my face, feeling the water drip down my face and onto my shirt. Or perhaps some song playing on random will just cause me shrivel up into a ball. I don't like the feeling, but there's nothing i can do about it except deal with it the best I can. There is so much that I should have expressed. Mad at myself for not being angry. Isn't that ironic? Why couldn't I just get angry for once and just yell? Dammit.

random playlist while typing this entry:

Death Cab for Cutie - Photobooth, Radiohead - Myxomatosis, Wilco - That's Not the Issue, Interpol - Untitled, Psychedlic Furs - Love My Way, Sufjan Stevens - Decatur, Billy Squire - The Stroke, The Arcade Fire - Wake Up, The Smiths - William, It Was Really Nothing, Pink Floyd - Hey You

Currently Reading The Private Life of Chairman Mao: The Memoirs of Mao's Personal Physician Dr. Li Zhisui By Zhi-Sui Li see related

hey hey hey,

i've been back in SD for about two weeks now and i'm having a jolly good time. i love my house, (a tad on the expensive side) but i think things are going to work out. i am absolutely in love with hillcrest cos it's a bitchin cool neighborhood, i like my housemates, the weather has just been delightful the last couple of days, and i've been hanging out with some random people throughout all of this.

i am taking japanese/chinese political thought (awesome!), a seminar about material culture of china, and fourth year japanese (yikes! so difficult!). i'm also trying to get into my econ class, but i'm waitlisted. JEEZ. i hate this. i pick so early cos i have senior standing, but i always manage to fuck up my schedule in one way or another. BOO.

since i take the hillcrest shuttle everyday for about 20 minutes each way, i have some time to just zone out and listen to my ipod. don't you ever have days where your eyes are just heavy and you blink extra slow cos everything just feels....neutral? i love watching the sunset over yonder against the backdrop of palm trees and the ocean along mission bay and then relishing in the walk as i scurry my way back home through all the charming houses in the neighborhood.

i have been rather busy trying to take care of the house, figuring out that housing bit, attempting to get back into the routine of schoolwork, all the meanwhile enjoying the scene. i do need to find some things to preoccupy me if i don't get my third class, perhaps finally working on my neon and hitting the gym more often. but i seriously would feel guilty and unproductive without 4 classes.

oh yeah, i pierced my nose. it's tres cool.

AW. i didn't get my econ class. i think i'm going to do the teacher education program, focus on neon, hit the gym more often, and take a dance class. last week, my friend and i were walking around albertsons and there was a crowd of international students from all different nationalities trying to converse in their broken english. we went to albertsons again yesterday and we thought about those students at the cashier saying "sign? you want my sign?" *cute*

Currently Listening Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt By We Are Scientists see related